There are no sports. While there are certainly worse things happening during our current circumstances, the lack of sports is especially wearing on those of us who are supposed to write articles about sports everyday.
There are scant few options to write about. The WWE, only sports adjacent to begin with, continues to hold shows in arenas in front of empty audiences, leading to Dadaesque performance art.
the eric andre show is shaking rn pic.twitter.com/f2h1bmCdat— big coochie bompensiero (@TeeHaitchGee) March 17, 2020
Dana White has continued to try to keep one of the UFC’s most anticipated fights, the lightweight title fight between Khabib Nurmagomedov and Tony Ferguson on the calendar. With Khabib currently in lockdown in Russia and Ferguson in lockdown outside Russia, it looks grim for UFC 249 barring a Fast & Furious 4 style secret tunnel situation or a Fast & Furious 7 aerial car drop situation.
There won’t be any college sports until at the fall at the earliest, meaning we’re going to miss many of the 2020 iterations of the Civil War. that is unacceptable.
There is one sport still running. Thanks to the fine folks over at Jelle’s Marble Runs, the Marbula One season is just about finish, just in time for the summer start to 2020’s Marble League. And most importantly for Beaver fans, the Civil War lives on, in marble form.
You see, one of the Marble League teams, the O’rangers, is made up of orange marbles. Another team, made up of green marbles with brown swirls, is called the Green Ducks. And I don’t know about you, but when I see an orange team and a team called the ducks, that’s pretty much all I need.
The O’rangers have a strong marble racing history. They won the 2017 Marble League (formerly known as the Marblelympics before the IOC got litigious) championship. The Green Ducks are a more recent addition, but a solid 2nd place performance at the 2019 Marble League established them as a team to beat.
Each team has won one race so far this season, and each team one at the other’s home track. The rivalry has been heated to say the least. Currently, the O’rangers sit in third, one of four teams with a shot at the championship. The Green Ducks sit in seventh place, out of the running for the championship, but a race win could let them pass the O’rangers, and you know they’d love to be spoilers.
You can check out qualifying for the final race of the season on Saturday, April 4th at 12:30 PM PT, and the race itself on Sunday April 5th at the same time. Find out if the Beavers/O’rangers can triumph over the Ducks/Ducks, and whether or not I have truly gone insane from the isolation. It’ll be fun!