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If Oregon State Goes to the Cheez-It Bowl I Will Eat the Big Cheez-It

Some people bet money on college football, I bet my cholesterol levels.

Cheez-It Bowl - California v TCU Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

ESPN released their latest Bowl Projections recently, and for the first time in a long time, Oregon State’s name was mentioned. Kyle Bonagura predicted the the Beavers would become bowl eligible, and would be selected to play in the Cheez-It Bowl.

If you are unfamiliar with the Cheez-It Bowl, that is understandable. It has only existed under that name for one year. In last year’s inaugural Cheez-It Bowl, TCU defeated Cal 10-7 in a thrilling(?) OT game. The bowl itself has been held since 1989. Prior to being named after one of America’s top 7 cheese based snack crackers, the Cheez-It Bowl was known by several names. It has been christened, at times, as the Cactus Bowl, the Copper Bowl, , the Insight Bowl, the Bowl, and the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl.

It was under one of those names that the Beavers made their Cheez-It Bowl history. At 2002’s Insight Bowl, the Beavers were defeated by Pittsburgh 38-13, in Dennis Erickson’s final season with the team. Just two years later, Mike Riley led the Beavers to victory in the 2004 Insight Bowl, defeating Notre Dame 38-21. Derek Anderson was named Offensive MVP, while Trent Bray, the team’s current Linebackers coach, won Defensive MVP.

The bowl is held at Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona, where the Diamondbacks play. It will be held on December 27th, the night before the Fiesta Bowl, Phoenix’s other, less cheese-tastic bowl game.

I am here to make a pledge to you, the Oregon State fan and Building the Dam reader. If the Beavers do make to this game, I will subject myself to the Cheez-It brand’s other major accomplishment this season.

In addition to acquiring the naming rights to a bowl game, Cheez-It has also launched a partnership with Pizza Hut, leading to the creation of what is possibly one of the most horrifying food products ever conceived.

I have done some horrible things to my body with food over the years. I have at multiple points ordered something called a Slamburger from Denny’s and no food has more accurately described what it will do to your body than that. I will never miss a special, limited time only sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings. And most germane to this conversation, it was the highlight of my 2019 when Pizza Hut brought back the P’Zone.

Threre’s a very good chance that the Cheez-It Pizza is what finally causes my body to revolt and begin shutting down, but fortunately I am quite confident that SB Nation and Vox Media will pay for any medical expenses that are incurred (Editor’s Note - This is not true please do not do this.) So here’s hoping the Beavs finish the year strong and are bowl bound!

This the first in a series of articles in which I go over what I will eat should the team get to each bowl game. Just wait till you see what I’ve got planned for the Gator Bowl.