The 25K Spot - Lache Seastrunk's Blog

This summer, Oregon State safety Lance Mitchell is writing a blog for osubeavers.com. Knowing that the Ducks can't be out-done by anything the Beavers do, Oregon running back Lache Seastrunk decided that it was time he wrote a blog. Below is his first entry, which seems to be based on Mitchell's Q&A series with members of the OSU Football team.

For my first post, I wanted to interview a member of our great team. There are so many people here with great character that love to follow rules and laws that I figured it would be great for you guys to get to know them.

Unfortunately, every single player on the team declined my interview request. They said I was a "bad influence", and then they mentioned some "NCAA Violations". Our team is so funny. 

So anyway, I figured I would interview myself. I'm a pretty cool guy, so why not? To make it even better, I'll be answering my questions in Eight Ball the Tiger format.

LOTS OF CRAZY STUFF HAS HAPPENED IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN OH WAIT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I MEAN OKAY SO I'LL TELL YOU THIS REPORTER GUY HIS NAME IS LIKE WAN DETZEL IS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE INELIGIBLE AND I'M LIKE NO I'M NOT AND HE SAYS WE'VE GOT THANK YOU NOTES THAT SAYS YOU ARE AND I'M LIKE WHAT THANK YOU NOTES AND HE SAYS WILLIE LYLES GAVE THEM TO ME.

AND THEN I'M LIKE I DON'T KNOW A WILLIE LYLES BUT I DO KNOW A GUY NAMED WILL LYLES AND HE DATED MY MOM ONCE AND OH SNAP I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE THAT.

What’s your dream car?

I DON'T HAVE A DREAM CAR BUT I DO HAVE A DREAM SHOE THEY HAVE BENJAMIN FRANKLINS GLUED TO THEM SO I CAN JUST ROLL UP TO THE CLUB WITHOUT ANY CASH AND NOT WORRY BOUT A THING CAUSE I GOT MY BENJAMIN FRANKLIN JORDAN'S AND THERE'S ONLY TWO OF THEM IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND MY HOMIE PHIL KNIGHT MADE THEM FOR ME SO IT'S ALL GOOD.

Do you have any phobias?

ONCE I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SCREAMING BECAUSE I HAD THIS DREAM THAT THIS ONE REPORTER BACHEL RACHMAN WAS GOING THROUGH MY TEXT MESSAGES AND I'M LIKE NO THOSE ARE PRIVATE AND SHE GOES IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION AND I'M LIKE WHOEVER WROTE THIS FREAKIN CONSTITUTION NEEDS TO TALK TO MY HOMIE PHIL KNIGHT CAUSE HE COULD PAY THEM TO STOP WRITING ALL THIS CRAP AND MAYBE MAKE SOME COOL JORDAN'S FOR THEM.

Most embarrassing moment?

SO WHILE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL MY GRANDMA CAME RUNNING DOWN THE HALLS LIKE SHE WAS LAMICHAEL FREAKIN JAMES AND SHE WAS LIKE BABY I'M MOVING TO THE NIKE CAMPUS COME KISS YOUR GRAMMY GOODBYE AND I WAS LIKE NO GRANDMA STOP EMBARRASING ME AND SHE WAS LIKE I SIGNED YOUR LETTER OF INTENT AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT AND I WAS LIKE THAT'S ONLY CAUSE PHIL KNIGHT PROMISED YOU A HOUSE ON THE NIKE CAMPUS AND THEN EVERYONE IN THE HALLS WAS LIKE OH SNAP THATS AN NCAA VIOLATION BUT THEN UNCLE PHIL SWOOSHED IN SCREAMING JORDAN'S FOR ALL TO KEEP EVERYONE'S MOUTHS SHUT AND IT WAS ALL GOOD.

What is the funniest prank played on you or by you?

I WAS BEING HAZED I KNOW IT BECAUSE I WENT DOWN TO STARBUCKS AND I PICKED UP THE OREGONIAN AND THERE WAS THIS BALD GUY COHN JANZANO WHO WAS SCREAMING AND WHINING BECAUSE MY COACH LIED TO HIM AND I'M LIKE NO WAY MY COACH CHIP KELLY LIED TO NOBODY AND I READ FURTHER AND IT WAS A STORY ABOUT THIS WILLIE LYLES CHARACTER AND I'M LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND AND OH THERE I GO AGAIN I MEAN AQUAINTENCE AND THEN I LAUGHED BECAUSE I KNEW IT WAS A PRANK MY FRIENDS PULLED ON ME I JUST KNOW IT.

What’s your favorite place on earth?

THE NIKE STORE BECAUSE WHEN I WALKED IN THERE EVERYONE WAS GIVING ME JORDAN'S AND I WAS LIKE WHOA WHOA WHOA IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS AND THEY SAID IT IS CHRISTMAS IN JULY AND I WAS LIKE THEY MOVED IT AND THEY SAID YES AND I'M LIKE THAT'S CHILL AND THEN I WORTE A LETTER TO SANTA AND PHIL KNIGHT TOOK IT TO THE POST OFFICE FOR ME AND SOMEHOW I GOT EVERYTHING I WANTED THAT YEAR.

Do you have any pet peeves?

THESE FREAKING NEWSPAPER WRITERS KEEP CALLING ME AND THEY'RE LIKE DO YOU HAVE ANY COMMENT ON OUR STORY AND I'M LIKE SHE DIDN'T DATE HIM OKAY JUST STOP BOTHERING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who’s the funniest person you know?

A TIE BETWEEN LAMICHAEL JAMES AND DONTAE WILLIAMS CAUSE THEY KEEP ON COMING UP TO ME LIKE DUDE WE'RE IN TROUBLE WE NEED TO GET OUR STORIES STRAIGHT AND I'M LIKE YOU GUYS ARE HILARIOUS WHY WOULD WE POSSIBLY BE IN TROUBLE WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG--