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Eleven Trojans not enough for 5 linemen and Jacquizz .... CV3000's take on OSU/USC

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Another game against the Trojans, another decisive victory over Oregon State's ONLY true rival.  CV3000 shares his thoughts as only he can:

  • It sure was nice to play the trojans with our starting tailback for the first itme in 3 years.   Like it matters.
  • Who needs a fullback when a 175 pound receiver can go in motion and just teacup Everson Griffen every time?  KE=mV^2, baby!!
  • Hats off to James, Shane and Sammie for their spectacular blocking.  I have never seen receivers take care of defensive ends, etc. quite like that. 
  • Faking the flysweep worked excellently to set a blocker into the interior of the defense or to seal the ends on some sweet crack backs.  The Beavers were using H-backs, James, Sammie, and Shane in motion from every formation and every direction to block defenders mostly at right angles on the inside zone play.  USC had no answer for it, and the Beavers kept running the same 2 running plays over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
  • And over again.
  • And then again.
  • That was USC's Super Bowl.
  • The reason that we should be optimistic about this being the identity of the offense: running plays were simply NOT called early in the Stanford or Penn State games.  Look at the film if you doubt this statement.  If you can run down USC's throat, you can run down anyone's throat.
  • The reason that we should be optimistic about this being the identity of the defense: we've always known that this was our fastest defense ever, and they only conducted 3 full-contact practices before the season--so...fi-nal-ly they have some practice at tackling.  (Unfortunately, it's 4 games into the season.)
  • A duck friend of mine texted me before the game: "over/under on concussions to quizz = 1.5."  In retrospect, it's always hilarious to trash talk on a day when your players are in the news for making a high speed meth run down to springfield and crashing into a car with a 1 year old passenger.   That's FUN-NY/SAD!!!!
  • I LOVE that the ESPN ticker had this at the bottom of the screen all game long.  That's HIL-AR-I-OUS/DISGUSTING!!!!
  • My pregame reply: "Welllll, he doesn't play qb at oregon, so you must mean touchdowns?"  Meanwhile, Taylor Mays, Bryan Cushing, and Rey Malalalalalalala left the game with injuries: Mays was coughing up blood, Cushing broke a bone in his hand, and Mala-beluga had a real bad case of loser's limp.
  • Rumor has it that MalaWallaWalla's loser's limp was almost as bad as the rest of the team's jock itch during fall camp.   Key word: almost.
  • However, we wish Rey Maualuga the best. Knee sprains are no laughing matter, and we hope the remainder of his college and NFL career is prosperous. 
  •  Sorry, duckies, according to the Ducksportsnews people, Reser is just as loud as Thomas J Autzen (OSU alumni) Stadium but with 10,000 fewer (smarter, more dentally endowed) people....and you still haven't won at Reser in a generation.

Since half of our readers are (jealous) duck fans (but at least they're in the minority of them who can read): Good luck this weekend, but your defense just doesn't have the caliber of athletes or the speed to contain USC, in the way that Oregon State always contains their rival year to year.  And your offense just doesn't have the talent at running back, quarterback, offensive line, receiver, or head coach that OSU has.  So it's going to be a long afternoon for our little sisters.  Will Allowalotti be able to keep the Meth-gene All Stars within 40 points?

Circusfreaks_medium

Meth-gene's Speed Racing All-Stars 

Hey, at least our win gives our little sisters a little, tiny, tiny, tiny shred of unrealistic hope?  So... you got that going for you, which is nice.