CV3000 has been quite busy the last few weeks. New job. Lots to learn. Things like: when do you take the fries out of the hot oil, how many patties go on a double, what makes the secret sauce a secret, etc. Yada. Yada. Yada.
Anyways, let's recap this young football season:
- First, before anyone else says it: dibs on Erin Andrews this Thursday!
- ORANGE OUT THEIR ASSES
- Things we learned at Stanford: Lyle Mo can chuck the rock, Shane Mo is better than you ever knew, the running game would benefit from being utilized earlier in the game, minus 4 in the turnover column is so garbage.
- ORANGE OUT THEIR URETHRAS
- Things we learned at Penn State: Quizz is VERY good, and could even be DOMINANT, but...the running game would STILL benefit from having plays called for it earlier in the game (3 running plays called in the first 3 possessions????????????????????????? CV3000 doesn't second guess Mike Riley, but...Penn State had like 76 suspensions in the middle of their defensive line, seems like a good time to run it up the middle from the get go), tackling practice should take place in Fall ball (CV3000 doesn't second guess Mike Riley, but...they only had 3 full-tackle practices in the whole preseason camp!)
- ORANGE OUT THEIR VAS DEFERENS
- It was very encouraging to see James and Jacquizz sitting on either side of J Hekker on the OSU bench after he was swallowed alive by the Penn State punt coverage unit. I don't know what they said, or if it means anything, but it seemed encouraging...and he had a much better game against Hawaii.
- ORANGE OUT THEIR STEP BROTHERS
- Things we learned against Hawaii: Hawaii is a beautiful island, James Rodgers is still as fast as you need him to be, Shane Mo wasn't kidding around in his first two games--that's really how he plays now, the defense can tackle, Pac-10 refs STILL can't tell the difference between Al Afalava's shoulder pads and his helmet, the crowd was semi-dead until the defense stopped Hawaii on an early 3rd down--after that it was really rocking, Hekker finally punted reliably--or was it that we only used him twice?
- ORANGE OUT THEIR ENEMA
- More things we against Hawaii: the defense can tackle....3 weeks into the season. Would we have been better off with more full contact, full wrap-up practices before the season started? I hate to say that we would, but I can't say that we wouldn't. DAMN SECOND GUESSING!
- ORANGE OUT THEIR MAN BOOBS
- Seriously, I still have dibs on Erin Andrews. Don't even think about it.
- ORANGE OUT THEIR COLOSTOMY BAG(s)
- Hey, did anyone hear how the 5th place team did? I heard that their fans were BOOING their team VERY loudly (just like they did LAST year versus Houston). I also heard they added another T-shirt to their growing collection while they proved what every college football observer with half a brain already knew: teams with crappy defenses and no quarterback aren't top 25 material. Not ever. The "L"-Boyz crapped their L-pends against their first Top 100 opponent of the season. Three scores in garbage time against a prevent defense made the score look closer than the game ever was, as they were pretty obviously out-everythinged and completely overwhelmed in their first game against 11 bodies with a pulse. Maybe they can lose another Las Vegas or Seattle Bowl this year?
- ORANGE OUT THEIR MAN BOOBS
- IF they make it to a bowl, of course.
- ORANGE OUT THEIR PROSTATE
- Which...is about a 50/50 proposition.
- ORANGE OUT THEIR NOSTRILS
- Even though they already have 3 wins (versus the bottom 25), silly grellows!
