FanPost

The Mike Riley Alamo Bowl Checklist


1) Bike tour of San Antonio

2) Pal around with Mack Brown. Exchange fluffy, meaningless pleasantries

3) Put gimpy QB in as starter

4) Watch gimpy QB throw bonehead interception

5) Chew gum

6) Watch gimpy QB get ball taken away due to general lack of awareness and mobility

7) Ignore other serviceable QB who is raring to go

8) Repeat steps 4, 5, and 7

9) Only put in alternate QB when forced to by ankle injury to already-gimpy QB

10) Do not give other QB a chance to throw

11) Put mega-gimp INT machine QB back in at earliest possible opportunity

12) Leave three points on board by clinging on to timeout like the Peanuts' Linus clinging to his security blanket

13) Take 10 point lead into halftime due to Herculean effort by Beaver D and inept Longhorn O

14) HALFTIME BONUS ROUND!!! :D

14a) Decide whether to make adjustments or not to further capitalize on mismatches

14b) Opt for "not"

14c) Let out some "hip hips" in celebration of first half victory

14d) Spit out gum. Replace with fresh stick of gum or perhaps Bubble Tape

15) Start second half. Continue to watch poor crippled QB play

16) Miraculously maintain 10 point lead into fourth quarter

17) BANKER TIME, YO! Switch away from aggressive defensive play that has been working all game. Substitute with infamous "prevent defense"

18) Continue to ignore QB whose ankle is actually NOT probably swollen like a grapefruit

19) Chew more gum while defeat is snatched from the jaws of victory

20) Get contract extended for 1 year for making bowl game

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Building the Dam staff. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon State fans.

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