Pretty simple post here, so I won't waste your time with any more than this introduction from Iowa Safety Tyler Sash.
"Go West, young men! ...Which is the opposite of going East!"
First, a PSA: Yes, this is shamelessly copycatting the Connor Predicts series. But I thought this method of posting my picks would be better than slapping a Mark Mangino-sized monolouge right smack in the middle of his comment section. That would just be Penelope-ish. So with all apologies to said Connor (HIS IDEA, HIS IDEA, HIS IDEA), on to the picks!
- California @ Nevada. 38-21. A third straight rout, signalling an even more colossal midseason breakdown.
- USC @ Minnesota. 31-13. *Shock Prediction*: Lane Kiffin will do some pouting, and more posturing, but mostly he'll just demean anybody and everybody around him.
- Washington vs Nebraska. 24-38. 'Locker 4 Heisman' signs will be seen all around Husky Stadium. ...Hastily crammed into the surrounding trash & recycle bins. Nebraska's new offense is going to open some eyes. Maybe even those behind purple-tinted glasses.
- WSU @ SMU. 6-45. June Jones is at it again. So is Wazzu. The revenge will be sweet enough to make a Southern Methodist blush.
- Arizona State @ Wisconsin. 17-20. The Devils' D surprises Wisconsin, but the inability of ASU's "offense" to move the football confounds everyone.
- Oregon State vs Louisville. 38-17. In anticipation of 9.25.10, Riley sits his starters after 3 quarters, distorting the reality that L'Ville never had a chance.
- Oregon vs Portland State. 52-10. Burton's rejuvenated Vikings set out to make a statement. They do, but "Thanks for the check!" wasn't exactly what they had in mind.
- Arizona vs Iowa. 30-27. A great football game, contrasting not only Arizona's quick-hitting offense against Iowa's grind-it-out running game, but also the underrated Nick Foles against the overrated Ricky Stanzi. Regardless of the outcome, the Zona Zoo will surround the field at some point, and probably far too early.
- UCLA vs Houston. 16-14. UCLA is embarrassed, fired up, and ready for redemption from last week's embarrassment vs Furd. Unfortunately, you can't line up Passion under center. Nonetheless, the Bruins bore the Cougars into a snooze-fest, and the UCLA secondary wins the day, despite the fact that they have to be on the same team as Kevin Prince.
- Stanford vs Wake Forest. 45-13. Lou Holtz is practically salivating over the prospect of throwing out a "the Tree vs the Forest" pun for the second straight year in a row. ...Oh wait. He's always salivating. The Cardinal roll easily, and begin to look towards that October 2 visit to Eugene.
And lastly, I leave you with the Quote of the Week, courtesy of Iowa Safety Tyler Sash (pictured at the top of this article), on travelling to Tucson.
"Everybody's making this big deal out of going West. I feel like it's just the opposite of going East."
Well, Tyler, you may be surprised to know that many of us share this sentiment. Only we never express it.