FanPost

Why the Beavers are better than the Ducks... and vice-versa

It's Civil War week, and people across our great state will be comparing and contrasting the Beavers and the Ducks. To make things easier, here are the facts, and you can decide for yourself.

Top ten reasons the Beavers are better than the Ducks:

Beavers Ducks
Three-point stance before getting arrested
Three-point SAT scores before getting admitted
Mascot shares name with most highly sought-after thing in human history Mascot shares name with squeaky rubber bath toy
National Champion baseball team stole bases and hit home runs Pac-10 Champion football team stole laptops and hit Broncos
Town is a great place to grow up Town is a great place to grow pot
2006 football team goes "10-4" on the season, matching the feeling that life is "A-okay" in Corvallis 2009 basketball team goes "7-11" in the Pac-10, matching the only place U of O graduates are qualified to work
Students have ties, through Coach Craig Robinson, to President B.O. Students have B.O.
Lawns full of weeds Dorms full of weed
Fashion shows in Memorial Union Fashion victims on the football field
Mike Riley: Does more with less Chip Kelly: Needs to eat less
Researchers visiting Corvallis hope to witness the next major discovery in science Researchers visiting Eugene grow eager to witness the residents' discovery of soap

 

Top ten reasons the Ducks are better than the Beavers:

Ducks Beavers
Duck can do push-ups for every point scored Stephen Hawking can do push-ups for every point scored
Can't beat Boise State Can't beat Washington State
Way too intimate with Nike Way too intimate with sheep
Major shopping destinations include Valley River Center and Gateway Mall Major shopping destinations include K-Mart and Bi-Mart
Fans inspired to shout "I love my Ducks!" at football team's performance Fans driven to shout obscenities at football team's performance
In the middle of major facility expansions In the middle of nowhere
Team is on fire and the cheerleaders are smokin'! Campus is on fire and the buildings are smokin'!
Currently in the national news for great athletics Currently in the national news for that stupid terrorist
City buses scheduled to arrive every half hour City buses arrive as scheduled, plus or minus a half hour
Team invited to Rose Bowl in Pasadena and Holiday Bowl in San Diego Team invited to Shogun Bowl across from campus and Highland Bowl on 9th Street

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Building the Dam staff. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon State fans.

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