How To Get To The Big Game
(And Climb The Corporate Ladder, Too)

CORVALLIS, OR  -  Surprisingly, there are some tickets left to tonight’s game pitting your OSU Beavers against the #1-ranked team in the country, USC.  So you can still go.  Oh, you have to work?  Well, here is the ultimate list of how to get out of work, go to the game, and put you in position for a raise.

Option #1: The Call
You know the one: "Uh boss, I’m not feeling so well today.  My kids were throwing up all night and I think I’ve got something now.  I’m the last one in our house to get it.  Wait a minute, hold on."  (Set the phone down, run to the bathroom, slam the door, flush the toilet and come back.) 

"Sorry about that. I could come in today, but I think I would rather take it easy and try to get some work done from home."  Works like a charm.
Did you know that in USC’s 1,112 games played, only 44 have had rain prevalent through most of the contest?  And did you know the Trojans are just 21-21-2 in those games?

Option #2: The Lunch Meeting
Everyone does it.  You tell your boss you are working on some new clients and meeting them for lunch.  The lunch runs long and it’s your turn to pick the kids up from school. By that time it’s 4pm, you might as well cut out.
It’s an Orange Out game.  Don’t be a wimp!  Orange up.  Orange hat.  Orange sweatshirt. Orange pants.  Black shoes.  Sure, you’ll look like a creamsicle that has been dropped in a mud puddle, but you are a fan – and you are going to the game.

Option #3: The Client In Corvallis
This is not as strong an option, but it could work.  Tell your boss it’s your first meeting with them and they have a tour of the factory set up.  It could be an all day affair.
Did you know that under Pete Carroll’s eight-plus seasons of leadership, USC is 80-14?  Did you also know that more than 33% of Pete’s losses have come after a week off? Three losses after byes and two in Bowl games is the breakdown.  7% of those losses came at the hands of Oregon State after a bye.

Option #4: Come In Early
The early bird gets the worm, right?  Just go to work at 5am and cut out after lunch.  That’s seven good hours, equal to a strong American work day.  However, if you use this one, you might have to come up with something better to convince the spouse that your overweight butt isn’t cheating, since you’ve never gotten up before 6am in your life and you hate working out.
USC’s record during Presidential election years is 188-59-14.  They are 118-26-5 when Republicans are elected and 70-33-9 when Democrats win.  In case you thought USC had no shot at a national title this year, four of their eleven titles have come during election years.

Option #5: Tell the Truth
I have heard this can work.  I am not sure how.  I guess it would go something like this:
"Boss, OSU is playing #1-ranked USC and I have tickets.  It’s a 6pm kickoff tonight and, well, it would mean I have to leave the office by 11am.  I want to beat the traffic.  Also, my buddies are tailgating and I drew the short stick, so I am the booze boy. Do you have any favorite pregame beverages?"  (Always good to get your boss’ opinion; it makes him think you actually listen to him.)
"I know this is short notice, but I’ve been coming in early all week to bill some extra hours for the company."  (Nice kissing up here – maybe a little bit of a stretch with the early stuff.  8:45 isn’t that early – but it’s still a nice touch.)
"I hope you understand.  Hey, uh, by the way – I have an extra ticket.  Would you like to come along?"
Now you’re getting that raise, baby!