What the hell is this?!?! It's an out and out declaration of war. You better watch out or else we'll be out there taking Oregonians to go to our schools. We'll pack UC Davis with Oregonians so fast, you won't even know what hit you. Then, you'll be stuck with only the hipsters in Portland. And then who will be happy? Nobody! Except for skinny jean and grandpa glass vendors. They'll be cleaning up.
Look at this:
I came to visit and everything clicked" -- Katy
"I like OSU because it is far enough away from home that I feel independent, but close enough that if I get homesick, I don't have to spend an arm and a leg getting back!" -- Dominique
"The energy here is just palpable!" -- Dave
Look, I know a Dominique, I know a Katy, and I know a Dave. If I find out that these are those 3 people, there will be HELL to pay! Except for Dominique. She's hot. But Katy is ugly and Dave's a dude. Hell To Pay!
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY STATE! And, ps, can we have a loan, we're gonna run out of money in February.