BREAKING NEWS: BLOUNT, MASOLI, JOHNSON ARRESTED
A.P. EUGENE, Oregon, December 1st, 2008
Three University of Oregon players were arrested early Monday morning after one of the players vehicles was spotted driving in the campus area around 2:00 A.M. Jeremiah Masoli, Jeremiah Johnson, and LaGarrette Blount were arrested and charged not only with 1st degree theft (stealing a Rose Bowl game) but they were also charged with butt raping the Oregon State defense on Saturday night, in the home of the Beavers. The three players were responsible for nearly 95% of the teams total offense and six touchdowns.
Oregon State coach Mike Riley responds to the allegations, "Well, after reviewing the tape we realized that these guys were doing something illegal. They weren't playing football but rather they were running track."
Mike Bellotti, "I would never ask our guys to butt rape anybody, but in the history of butt raping, this one was sure the nicest"
While the investigation is still under way, it is believed that the three players used a lot of lube, as the Oregon State defenders just seemed to slide right off them anytime they got close. It is unclear whether any other players will be charged.
Sorry guys, had to do it.
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25 comments
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You’re begging me to put those 3 numbers together, aren’t you?
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 3:37 PM PST
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I hate your tag line just FYI
I support Takimoto in his effort to support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
by The VD Special on
Dec 1, 2008 3:41 PM PST
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AtQ’s? It wasn’t my choice. I wanted “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-e-l-t’” myself.
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 3:43 PM PST
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No, it's spelled S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l
Clever and witty, yes
But F YOU
I support Takimoto in his effort to support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
by The VD Special on
Dec 1, 2008 3:47 PM PST
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I can’t take credit for it. I just laughed and encouraged it.
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 3:50 PM PST
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huh?
Why not, it’s your tagline?
By the way I’m with VD on this one!
-RVM
by rvm on
Dec 1, 2008 3:52 PM PST
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I didn’t come up with it. It easily fit my criteria though!
You too can have your spelling of my name featured though!
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 4:02 PM PST
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Okay, I’m wayyyyy slowwww on the uptake here. What in the heck does this all mean?
-RVM
by rvm on
Dec 1, 2008 4:08 PM PST
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The summary is this:
There was a period where everyone kept spelling my name wrong. I don’t know why, it’s not like my name was very far when they did it – but they spelled it wrong, so I changed my sig to “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-e-l-t’”.
TwistNHook liked it so much, he made it part of one of their DBD link dumps.
I then changed it to “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-a-i-l’”
Someone asked me why I changed it, and I responded with the irony of: “It turns out I’ve been spelling it wrong all this time”
Thus a SBNation meme was born. Every time someone makes fun of it, or parodies it, I change it, pending it fits my criteria. One of those is that it makes me laugh, even if its at my own expense.
:-)
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 4:15 PM PST
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Sorry about that. Nobody has come up with one since so… Not sure how long it will last!
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 4:34 PM PST
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Well, if I hold up my hand to the screen enough I can’t see it. I’ll keep trying that!
:)
-RVM
by rvm on
Dec 1, 2008 4:36 PM PST
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I believe it was me who asked about the Shufail.
Alright time's up lez do this...
by qrsouther on
Dec 1, 2008 4:56 PM PST
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I generally refer to you as “someone” when I don’t know you’re around.
:-)
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 4:58 PM PST
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Nah. That was a lie.
It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"
by JShufelt on
Dec 1, 2008 6:02 PM PST
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I laughed so hard at this.
Well done Kenny.
Alright time's up lez do this...
by qrsouther on
Dec 1, 2008 4:07 PM PST
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They'll be so busted for this...
But if it were Luke Bellotti, it’d be some kind of double secret probation. Jeez, I hate the ducks.
by ArbyOSU on
Dec 1, 2008 4:45 PM PST
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He had to pick of leaves in the front yard and got his xbox taken away for a week. I totally owned him on his gamerscore
--Dominic
Autzen Stadium is where great teams go to die." - J. Brady McCullough, The Michigan Daily.
by dvieira on
Dec 1, 2008 6:01 PM PST
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poor taste but well written
and thanks for saying it as badly as the worst Duck fan
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on
Dec 1, 2008 8:00 PM PST
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You're guilty of stealing too VD
Stealing my heart
It's spelled S-H-U-damn it I can't think of one!
by echris on
Dec 2, 2008 8:43 AM PST
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this is exactly why beaver fans > ducks fans
We don’t spend so much time convincing other we are “elite” and can actually make fun of ourselves when it is fitting.
In reality, I sort of can’t wait to see Oregon v OK St. I want the Pac-10 to show well, but Oregon’s passing defense is horrible (and has been all year) and that could be trouble.
by Joe Diamonds on
Dec 10, 2008 11:14 AM PST
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?
“Beav fan > Duck fans”… And Duck fans are “elite”?
Death before Dishonor.
by MarineCorpsDuck on
Dec 12, 2008 11:28 AM PST
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