BREAKING NEWS: BLOUNT, MASOLI, JOHNSON ARRESTED

by The VD Special on Dec 1, 2008 3:33 PM PST Comment 25 comments

A.P. EUGENE, Oregon, December 1st, 2008

Three University of Oregon players were arrested early Monday morning after one of the players vehicles was spotted driving in the campus area around 2:00 A.M. Jeremiah Masoli, Jeremiah Johnson, and LaGarrette Blount were arrested and charged not only with 1st degree theft (stealing a Rose Bowl game) but they were also charged with butt raping the Oregon State defense on Saturday night, in the home of the Beavers. The three players were responsible for nearly 95% of the teams total offense and six touchdowns.

Oregon State coach Mike Riley responds to the allegations, "Well, after reviewing the tape we realized that these guys were doing something illegal. They weren't playing football but rather they were running track."

Mike Bellotti, "I would never ask our guys to butt rape anybody, but in the history of butt raping, this one was sure the nicest"

While the investigation is still under way, it is believed that the three players used a lot of lube, as the Oregon State defenders just seemed to slide right off them anytime they got close. It is unclear whether any other players will be charged.

Sorry guys, had to do it.

3 recs | Comment 25 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

You’re begging me to put those 3 numbers together, aren’t you?

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 3:37 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

I hate your tag line just FYI

I support Takimoto in his effort to support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

by The VD Special on Dec 1, 2008 3:41 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

AtQ’s? It wasn’t my choice. I wanted “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-e-l-t’” myself.

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 3:43 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

No, it's spelled S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l

Clever and witty, yes

But F YOU

I support Takimoto in his effort to support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

by The VD Special on Dec 1, 2008 3:47 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I can’t take credit for it. I just laughed and encouraged it.

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 3:50 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

huh?

Why not, it’s your tagline?

By the way I’m with VD on this one!

-RVM

by rvm on Dec 1, 2008 3:52 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I didn’t come up with it. It easily fit my criteria though!
You too can have your spelling of my name featured though!

This was Takimoto’s genius.

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 4:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Okay, I’m wayyyyy slowwww on the uptake here. What in the heck does this all mean?

-RVM

by rvm on Dec 1, 2008 4:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

The summary is this:

There was a period where everyone kept spelling my name wrong. I don’t know why, it’s not like my name was very far when they did it – but they spelled it wrong, so I changed my sig to “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-e-l-t’”.

TwistNHook liked it so much, he made it part of one of their DBD link dumps.

I then changed it to “It’s spelled ‘S-h-u-f-a-i-l’”

Someone asked me why I changed it, and I responded with the irony of: “It turns out I’ve been spelling it wrong all this time”

Thus a SBNation meme was born. Every time someone makes fun of it, or parodies it, I change it, pending it fits my criteria. One of those is that it makes me laugh, even if its at my own expense.

:-)

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 4:15 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

thanks!

I still don’t like it!

-RVM

by rvm on Dec 1, 2008 4:18 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Sorry about that. Nobody has come up with one since so… Not sure how long it will last!

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 4:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Well, if I hold up my hand to the screen enough I can’t see it. I’ll keep trying that!

-RVM

by rvm on Dec 1, 2008 4:36 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I believe it was me who asked about the Shufail.

Alright time's up lez do this...

by qrsouther on Dec 1, 2008 4:56 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I generally refer to you as “someone” when I don’t know you’re around.

:-)

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 4:58 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Dawwwwwwww

For realsies?

Kicker.

by qrsouther on Dec 1, 2008 5:44 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Nah. That was a lie.

It's spelled "S-h-u-n-b-o-w-l"

by JShufelt on Dec 1, 2008 6:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I laughed so hard at this.

Well done Kenny.

Alright time's up lez do this...

by qrsouther on Dec 1, 2008 4:07 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

They'll be so busted for this...

But if it were Luke Bellotti, it’d be some kind of double secret probation. Jeez, I hate the ducks.

by ArbyOSU on Dec 1, 2008 4:45 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

He had to pick of leaves in the front yard and got his xbox taken away for a week. I totally owned him on his gamerscore

--Dominic

Autzen Stadium is where great teams go to die." - J. Brady McCullough, The Michigan Daily.

by dvieira on Dec 1, 2008 6:01 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

That's a joke right?

Kicker.

by qrsouther on Dec 1, 2008 6:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Too good

Well played

by teedawg on Dec 1, 2008 5:30 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

poor taste but well written

and thanks for saying it as badly as the worst Duck fan

"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy

by Honka Playboy on Dec 1, 2008 8:00 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

You're guilty of stealing too VD

Stealing my heart

It's spelled S-H-U-damn it I can't think of one!

by echris on Dec 2, 2008 8:43 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

this is exactly why beaver fans > ducks fans

We don’t spend so much time convincing other we are “elite” and can actually make fun of ourselves when it is fitting.

In reality, I sort of can’t wait to see Oregon v OK St. I want the Pac-10 to show well, but Oregon’s passing defense is horrible (and has been all year) and that could be trouble.

by Joe Diamonds on Dec 10, 2008 11:14 AM PST reply actions 0 recs