FanPost

Ooooooo Essssssssssssssssss Jewwwwwwwwwww

Did I do that right?  I think that's how it goes.  Maybe my self-loathing hilarious anti-semitism screwed me up there.

But I've been practicing.  I've been practicing, because you guys need me.  You guys need my help.  Otherwise, you'll never win out, potentially catipulting Cal into the Holiday Bowl.  I know, I feel so dirty.  Hoping against hope just to get into the Holiday Bowl.  And the dirt ain't coming off.  But, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

So, now I need to know what else to do to become an Oregon State fan.  As I explained to all those wildly depraved Oregon fans, I have the giant shlong and gorgeous wife.  So, that's a good start.  And I just painted my body orange.  The whole Oompa Loompa thing doesn't go over well at work, but c'mon, this is Oregon State football.  Ain't nothing more important than that!

So, tell me, fair denizens of the finest city in all of Eastern Oregon (wait, Corvallis is in Eastern Oregon, right?), what do I need to be an OSU fan?  Besides a crippling set of buck teeth.  I hate that I have to say this, but help me help you help Cal get into the Holiday Bowl.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Building the Dam staff. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon State fans.

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